Poolside Confessions: Hilarious, Bizarre, and Unfiltered

Picture this: Andrea and Paulette, poolside pros turned accidental couch potatoes, trying to recover from their own version of "strongman competition" injuries. Andrea threw out her back, and not from wrestling a pool filter or wrangling algae—nope, she did it Ellie May Clampett style, chucking feed bags like a champ. Meanwhile, Paulette got sidelined after a heroic round of taking down hurricane shutters, all while Jim Cantore packed up his drama and left town. The result? A couple of pool girls with no choice but to kick back, relax, and, well… let’s just say, if you were hoping for a professional pool talk episode, you’re in for a surprise.

Enter "Gossip Girl: Pool Edition"! These two ladies have decided to ditch the pool gear, grab the snacks, and dive deep into every juicy story they’ve been dying to spill. You’ll get the lowdown on the quirkiest poolside encounters, the wildest customer requests, and all the behind-the-scenes antics that you never thought you’d hear. Just imagine the tea they’re about to pour, and yes, it’s scalding hot.

Andrea's got the kind of back pain that only a crazy stunt can cause, so she's sitting there like a human pretzel. Paulette, arm wrapped in an ice pack, is ready to give the play-by-play on every bizarre request that comes from living in pool service paradise. Forget filters and chlorinators—today’s episode is more about why Mrs. Boudreaux down the block thinks her pool cleaner should also double as a pet psychologist.

So, buckle up for some laughs, because these ladies are bringing you a comedy-packed break from pool tech talk. It’s Andrea and Paulette, unleashed!

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The Council for the Model Aquatic Health Code promotes health & safety at public swimming pools

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Transcript

[Podcast Intro Music]

Andrea: (laughing) "Alright, everyone, welcome back to the Talking Pools Podcast, except today, we're not talking pools—we're talking everything but pools. Paulette and I are on the bench! I threw my back out, she sprained her arm, and here we are!"

Paulette: "Yep! Jim Cantore blew through town with his hurricane drama, and I thought, ‘Great, I’ll take down the hurricane shutters myself!’ You know, because I’m apparently invincible?"

Andrea: "And me? I pulled an Ellie May Clampett and threw out my back tossing feed bags. Just call me ‘Muscles McGee’ over here!"

Paulette: "So here we are, on the couch, iced up like we just went a few rounds with Mike Tyson, ready to spill the tea."

Andrea: "No pools today! This is full-blown Gossip Girl: Pool Edition. We’re talking about everything we don’t say when we’re out there cleaning pools!"

Paulette: "You know what that means, right? All the bizarre, the funny, and the downright weird stuff that we encounter out there in the wild."

Andrea: "So, Paulette, remember that lady, Mrs. Boudreaux, with the emotional support peacock?”

Paulette: (laughing) "Ohhh, how could I forget! She thought it was a great idea to let it roam around the pool while we worked. 'Just ignore it,' she says. How are you supposed to ignore a bird that’s the size of a toddler, squawking in your face?"

Andrea: "And she just had that poor bird trailing after her like it was her little feathered assistant. She tried to convince me it could sense the chlorine levels!"

Paulette: "Like, ‘Ma’am, I have test kits and training; I don’t need a psychic peacock to tell me the pH.’"

Andrea: "Oh, and don’t get me started on Mr. Thompson—the guy who thought his pool guy should also be his full-time tech support?"

Paulette: (groaning) "Oh no, not him. That guy called me every time he couldn’t figure out how to cast Netflix onto his outdoor TV. ‘Paulette, I just need you to come over and show me how the remote works.’ I’m like, ‘Sir, I’m here to clean your pool, not your streaming devices!’”

Andrea: "Meanwhile, he’s over there with three remotes, none of which have batteries in them. He blamed it on the ‘chlorine fumes!’"

Paulette: "And, can we talk about the lady who insisted on throwing a birthday party for her inflatable pool toys? I mean, I appreciate creativity, but this one had full-on cupcakes, candles, hats, the works."

Andrea: "Oh, yes! That was the day I was officially done. Imagine me, standing there with a skimmer in one hand, a pool brush in the other, while she’s singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to a flock of giant flamingo floaties."

Paulette: (laughing) "She looked so serious, too! I almost felt bad for the flamingos; they didn’t even get to have cake!"

Andrea: "And you can’t even make this stuff up. Like when Mrs. Patel wanted us to come back every day ‘to check if her pool has the right vibes.’”

Paulette: "The vibes, people! This woman wanted us to diagnose the pool’s energy levels. Apparently, she read somewhere that stagnant vibes could cause algae."

Andrea: "Right, because algae is definitely meditating at the bottom of her pool. Sometimes I just want to tell them, ‘Ma’am, it’s not stagnant vibes—it’s called neglect.’”

Paulette: (laughing) "Pool vibes, the next frontier in pool maintenance. Forget water tests; just hold up a crystal and chant for balance!"

Andrea: "It’s true, though—our job gets weird. Like, remember that guy who wanted us to check for mercury levels? Said he thought the pool was throwing off his 'natural frequency.'"

Paulette: "Oh, yeah! He had, like, tuning forks and all sorts of things spread out, like we were at a spa. Newsflash, buddy—your pool just needs chlorine, not a wellness retreat."

Andrea: "The worst part is we keep saying, ‘Oh, this has got to be the strangest thing we’ve seen,’ and then something else comes along that just… tops it."

Paulette: "Exactly. Every day’s a new episode of Strange Requests from the Poolside. That’s what makes it fun, though. It’s not just skimming leaves and testing pH; it’s navigating the entire zoo that comes with it!"

Andrea: "So true! And if there’s one takeaway from this episode, it’s that even on our off days, the pool gossip keeps us entertained.”

Paulette: "Oh, you know it! So, here’s to all the poolside escapades, the hilarious clients, the psychic peacocks, and the parties for inflatable flamingos! We wouldn’t have it any other way."

Andrea: "Thanks for hanging with us on this very non-traditional episode. We’ll be back in the trenches soon enough, ready for whatever wacky requests our clients have up their sleeves. Until then, keep it weird, folks!"

Paulette: "And remember, when in doubt—just check the vibes."

[Podcast Outro Music]