Explaining Metric to an American

In this lively episode of the Talking Pools Podcast, Peter from the Mondays Down Under show takes on the challenging task of explaining the metric system to Steve from the Thursdays with Wayne and Steve show. The conversation, which begins with Peter’s well-structured attempt to demystify the metric units of measurement, quickly spirals into a chaotic yet entertaining exchange as Steve veers off-topic.

Steve shares a series of humorous and frustrating stories about the unique challenges of servicing swimming pools in California. His anecdotes cover everything from dealing with California’s strict regulations to the quirks of the local clientele, all while Peter persistently tries to steer the conversation back to the metric system.

The episode is a rollercoaster of laughs and insights, showcasing the dynamic chemistry between the hosts and offering listeners a mix of technical knowledge and lighthearted banter. Despite Peter's best efforts to keep things on track, Steve's stories ultimately take center stage, making for an episode that's as informative as it is entertaining.

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Transcript

[Intro Music Playing]

Peter: G'day everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Mondays Down Under here on the Talking Pools Podcast. Today, I've got a special guest with me, Steve from Thursdays with Wayne and Steve. How are you doing, mate?

Steve: Hey, Peter! Doing great, man. Ready to dive into... whatever we're talking about today. [Laughs]

Peter: Glad to hear it, Steve. So, today I thought we’d tackle something that often trips people up: the metric system. I know it’s not something you use much in the States, but it’s pretty much the standard everywhere else, including Down Under.

Steve: Ah, the metric system. You know, I’ve always been more of a feet and inches kind of guy, but I’m game! Let’s hear it.

Peter: Alright, so let’s start with some basics. In the metric system, we use meters for length, kilograms for weight, and liters for volume. For example, when we’re measuring a pool, we’d use meters to get the length and width, and liters to determine the volume of water it can hold.

Steve: Meters and liters, got it. But let me tell you, Peter, in California, we don’t just have to worry about measurements. We’ve got regulations up to our eyeballs! You wouldn’t believe the paperwork we have to go through just to clean a pool sometimes. It’s like they expect us to have a law degree!

Peter: [Chuckles] I can imagine, mate, but let’s try to stick to the metric system for now. So, as I was saying, when we—

Steve: Speaking of paperwork, did I ever tell you about the time I got fined because a customer complained about a single leaf in their pool? A leaf, Peter! And of course, they reported it to the city because, in California, even a leaf can be a big deal. I had to spend the entire afternoon filling out forms just to prove I was doing my job.

Peter: [Trying to regain focus] Right, that sounds like a nightmare, Steve, but back to the metric system. Another thing to remember is that we use Celsius instead of Fahrenheit for temperature, which can really make a difference when you're adjusting chemicals—

Steve: Oh, temperature adjustments! You wouldn’t believe how many people think their pool should be as warm as their bathtub. I had this one customer who demanded I keep their pool at 90 degrees Fahrenheit year-round. I had to explain to them that their heater wasn’t meant to work that hard, and they’d be looking at a massive energy bill. But no, they insisted! Eventually, the heater gave out, and who do you think got blamed?

Peter: [Laughs] Sounds like a classic case of customer knows best, right? But about Celsius—Steve, you’re really taking us off the rails here!

Steve: [Laughing] Sorry, Peter, I just get so worked up thinking about these things. But okay, back to Celsius... or was it meters?

Peter: [Sighs, but with a smile] We’re trying to get through both, Steve, both. Now, if we could just focus for a moment on how the metric system can make things a bit easier, especially when you’re calculating chemical dosages...

Steve: Chemical dosages, huh? Funny you mention that. I once had this job where the pool owner decided to go all DIY and poured in way too much chlorine. I mean, they must have thought they were sterilizing a hospital. The pool was practically a chemical soup when I got there. And of course, they didn’t mention it until I was knee-deep in the water, feeling like I was in some kind of chemical warfare.

Peter: [Laughs, shaking his head] Steve, mate, I don’t know how we’re ever going to get through this metric system talk. Maybe we should just rename this episode to “Steve’s California Pool Service Adventures.”

Steve: [Laughs] Hey, if it gets us more listeners, I’m all for it. But okay, okay, I’ll try to behave. So... Celsius, meters, liters—what else you got for me?

Peter: [Chuckles] Let’s just leave it at that for today. I think our listeners got the gist, even if we did take a few detours along the way.

Steve: [Grinning] It’s all about the journey, Peter, not the destination.

Peter: [Laughs] That it is, mate. That it is. Alright, everyone, thanks for tuning in. We’ll catch you next time on Mondays Down Under. And Steve, let’s try to keep it a bit more on track next time, yeah?

Steve: No promises! [Laughs]

[Outro Music Playing]